This unit we were asked to dive deep and examine ourselves to hopefully be able to better express who we are (or at least who we think we are in this moment of time) in various tangible projects. These projects have extended over varying types of media such as a written personal essay in English, a reflective video essay in Film, and a mandala and numerous Photoshop painting and compositing projects in Digital Media. I’ve done a lot of learning about myself outside of school this past year and I thought this unit couldn’t have come at a better part of my journey. So I’m grateful I was able to bring in my natural introspectiveness (that I learned that I had this year because of this unit) into school.

To start this off I want to first share my essence objects that I made a list of when starting this unit in English class. Just so you can get a an overly broad feeling of who I am before you dive in…

• my cat, Biggie
• 50 pack of Crayola supertips
• Spiderman ukulele
• yorkshire terrier gloves
• collection of playing card
• watercolor painting of Beethoven
• Somewhere in Time vinyl
• pine cones from various places
• jewelry from my violin teacher
• Derby Panthers Basketball t-shirt that stole from a friend where I used to live
• a stick from the back parking lot from my middle school
• a big panda stuffed animal
• my hospital journals

Mandala

For the mandala project in Digital Media we learned how to use a cool technique in Adobe Illustrator where we only have to draw designs in one sliver of a circle and it would repeat over and over again in the rest of the circle in real time. At first the technique seemed intimidating but once it was done it opened the door for so many opportunities. I also think it was good to have such a relaxing project to start off this unit because we can’t really look into ourselves or our behaviors without first feeling stable and calm enough to not get too overwhelmed when looking back at previous actions we had done, situations we’ve been in, or “cringeworthy” things we might have said.

‘Deteriorating’

Artist Statement:

I didn’t think I was going to like this project that much, but after I was done making my first full mandala, I was hooked! I think it’s because after I actually started drawing, I began to understand that it doesn’t have to be so perfect or look a certain way, I could actually really make it my own. I think this project helped me grow because it taught me that being frightened of all the possibilities I could achieve with this form of art, will do more harm than good. It can really paralyze you, but you have to just start with one single brush stroke, until the inspiration comes… and it will.

I am most proud of using an artstyle that I typically use with traditional art supplies. I didn’t think I would be able to use it in a project like this, but once I lifted the restrictions off myself I made something that actually gave me an emotional release.

I decided to color my black and white mandala instead of making a new one because I wanted to see how colors would affect it. I used a variety of gradients to represent the sky that the center moon calls home. I had a lot of fun experimenting with different techniques in Illustrator.

Overall, I just really loved this project, especially because I got to see my design in a tangible object. I was really proud of myself for even completing this project. This is because last year, when I was a junior, seeing all the seniors’ mandalas at exhibition was so intimidating because they all looked so good and I assumed it would be really hard for me to do it, but I proved myself wrong! If I were able to change anything though, I would definitely add LOTS more detail and have even more fun.

Photoshop Art

We had a heavy focus on Photoshop painting and compositing this unit in Digital Media, which I thoroughly enjoyed. First we used a photo and different Photoshop brush textures to make it imitate an oil pastel painting. Then we created an original watercolor painting using those brushes, and then we used just an effect to make plain photos look like watercolor paintings. Lastly, we practiced compositing multiple images together before we created our own surreal style composition. I valued learning how to use all the neat brushes and being able to practice painting on a computer since I’m used to only doing it the old-fashioned way.

‘Gibbert the Pumpkin’

Artist Statement:

I absolutely loved this project not only because of how simple the premise is, but because, knowing that I can digitally paint this way, has made it accessible for me to actually start doing more digital art! Typically, I am a traditional art enthusiast because I find it difficult enough to just translate what I want to express through my hands, so the additional step of translating it through a mouse or wacom tablet pen… just overwhelms me. However, with this technique in Photoshop, I can take any photo and use it as a base for me to create off of without having to start with a completely blank canvas (or screen in this case).

Next time, I want to try working with a more detailed and colorful photo and also portraits. I really want to improve my realism skills and I think doing digital pastel paintings can serve as a great tool for practice. This project has increased my respect even more for digital artists because just painting over a photo took me a long time (because I wanted to get the details just right), so I can’t imagine the time it takes to create something entirely from scratch.

‘Do You Feel Better Now?’

Artist Statement:

This painting was inspired by a drawing I had done in a composition notebook a few months ago, before I was hospitalized for the second time. In my various composition books from that time, I really let loose and let myself create, write, and draw and I didn’t care whether or not my art was “good or not”… and I never thought I would be able to recreate that process digitally. Yet another thing that I prove myself wrong about!

The meaning behind the painting is the forced smile I unconsciously put on after I was hospitalized for the first time, because, I felt as if everyone was expecting me to be “fixed” or “all better” after that experience, which I definitely was not. The title of the painting is the exact words of a question that someone had asked me the day after I had an anxiety attack at school. When that person asked me that, it was one of the first times I was totally honest and open about how I felt; I told them “no” and I didn’t feel guilty about it.

‘Flora and Biggie Cheese’

Artist Statement:

This project seemed difficult at the beginning because of the amount of steps and the tribulation of finding pictures that would look good in this style. But, after doing the second painting, it became just another quick and fun creative outlet. An outlet that doesn’t require the difficult and intimidating work of making a watercolor painting from scratch. Overall, I enjoyed this project a lot, especially after doing the watercolor painting in Photoshop, since this was much simpler in comparison.

Photoshop Compositing 1

Surreal Composition – ‘Crash Landing’

Artist Statement:

For this project we were challenged to compose together photos we found online to make our own piece that visually describes the World-building Narrative Treatment that we are currently writing in English class. The world that my team members and I are constructing is about an egotistical engineer that crash lands on an Earth-like planet, corrupted with human-machine hybrids. I decided to depict the beginning scene of said crash landing in my composition.

I had a lot of fun making this project, however, it was a little difficult to get started since I was all on my own without direct step by step instruction, which I didn’t realize was a factor hindering my ability to be independently creative until now. I’m proud of myself for being able to overcome this by trusting myself and problem solving on my own.

Film

Video Essay

This semester in film has been nothing short of amazing. We started with our reflection films/video essays in which we were meant to explore and discuss something that we think makes us unique. Since I like to be very open about my thoughts, I took the opportunity to be vulnerable about something that I think about frequently and often punish myself for feeling, which is the yearning for attention. In my film below I challenge the thought that “wanting attention” is bad and makes you a bad person.

I really enjoyed the process of making this video essay and I’m really proud of certain shots I took that, I think, look cinematic. The main one I love is the shot where I am frosting the cake. I think it’s because of the soft lighting coming through my kitchen window and the fact that the cake is centered, which typically isn’t done unless it’s to emphasize something.

Most of all, I loved having yet another opportunity to be vulnerable here at Freestyle.

Lighting Scavenger Hunt

This assignment was given to us after we learned about lighting techniques in film and I wanted to include it on this page for fun and because I’m just really proud that I set up and adjusted all the lighting by myself.

Final Reflection

Overall, I am really proud of all the work I’ve done during this unit especially after the difficult year I’ve had and I am just eternally grateful to be in Freestyle where I get to do projects that make me feel proud. Although it was difficult to get back into the swing of things at the beginning of the semester and there were still a few rough points throughout, I made it to the end and finally feel like I deserve a break. And though this unit was extensive and helpful, my journey of reflecting is far from over.