In English, our goal was to write a narrative using multiple dialogues and different perspectives. Our challenge was to write a story using 50% dialogue and 50% description to drive the story. I wrote my story about a old lady and young man who meets during a tsunami. They try to overcome the natural disaster together despite being strangers.
To read and listen to my story, scroll down.
In English, our goal was to write a narrative using multiple dialogues and different perspectives. Our challenge was to write a story using 50% dialogue and 50% description to drive the story. I wrote my story about a old lady and young man who meets during a tsunami. They try to overcome the natural disaster together despite being strangers.
To read and listen to my story, scroll down.
She darted her faded brown eyes and her feeble legs as fast as she could to the other side. She fell to her aged knee as she caught the photo before the muddy waves could steal it away from her. I win. She proclaimed to herself over and over again as she clenched the frame in her wrinkled arms. She allowed the tears to flow as she rocked back and forth in the murky room that she no longer recognized.
She was in her autumn years and she was yet again experiencing something so intense, or excessive, or whatever was the right word to describe that moment. Impending fear clinged to her as she stayed at the corner, unable to remove the blockage in her mind that prevented her from following the right protocol. Bang ! Whoosh! Bang! Whoo-bang! The multiple colliding sound overpowered her eardrums that she could no longer keep up with the beat. Memories of her past rained one by one to the ground around her. She remained still until she heard a scream, a sound so painfully familiar that she lifted her head, mobilizing her. She got on to her vulnerable feet, the feet that helped her survive this long from war to her granddaughter’s wedding and made her way through the fallen furniture. With the frame in one hand, her other hand guided her through as she cautiously stepped on the little remaining floor. She reached the window as she swept the curtain away and forced open the door. She was pounded with a forceful gust of wind as water splashed her face. She was submitted to a view that was no longer a view but just a deterioration. From her very high up house, she saw detached roofs, swimming cars and people running. The water level was at the foot of her house, fickling back and forth. Her eyes shot wide open as events of the past where suddenly overlapping with the present. Heavily breathing, she panted with fear “huuu-no. nooo. NOO. NO. huuuh-not this-huu-again. I can’t...huuu...I can’t do this anymore. I can’t-”
“AHHHHhhh!” exclaimed a deeper voice that was not hers.
The voice helped her snap back into reality as she looked around outside her house in confusion.
“AHHH!!” the voice exclaimed again.
She looked down to her left and she saw a young man grasping onto the water pipe of her house that was almost detaching itself. Water was washing away his strength as he struggled to fight the waves.
She momentarily panicked before she could think of what to do next. But having been faced with worse situation, she left all her fears behind as she popped half her body out of the window.
“HEEEEEEEY!! YOUNG MAN. UP HERE!!!” she screamed as much as her withered voice could let her.
The young man looked up as he heard a faint voice above his head. As soon as he looked up, she screamed “HERE. GIVE ME YOUR HAND! LET ME HELP YOU! Please..” She had tears trickling down her face but the splashing water helped cover her weakness. With a determined look on her face, the young man looked surprised but quickly nodded with appreciation. He reached his hand out when it was the right moment and he connected hands with the old lady. Using all the power she could accumulate, she tried to pull the young man but gravity was beating her fleeing strength. She instead let go of the photoframe. Plop. She heard it fall to the floor but now she had two hands to muster more strength. The young man finally reached the frame of the window and tumbled in. As they both fell to the floor, covered in muddy water, the man panted and said “thank you very much. I thought-” -cough, cough- “I thought I was going to be swept away.” With his feet and calfs tucked underneath his thighs, hands crossed over his legs, he bowed graciously to the old lady. He stayed with his forehead one inch above the ground for awhile as the pure water trickled down his muddy face. “Thank you very much..” he whispered over and over again until he kept choking over his own tears.
The old lady safely came back as she found clean rags among the rukus. She brought one to the young man.
“This house was getting too quiet anyways.” The old lady smiled as she passed the rag.
“You are just saying that to make me feel better. I mean, I almost dragged you into this mess with me. I’m even wasting your clean rag!”
The old lady smiled and gave in. She knew that he was going to keep protesting so she cleaned herself off with the rag.
A day went by and they were still stuck in the house. Little parts of the house were collapsing but the current managed to not wash the two away. They sat in silent as they occupied their own thoughts.
The old lady finally got up and came back a few minutes later.
“Here, I found some crackers. It’s soggy but let’s eat it.” said the old lady.
“No, no, no. It’s fine. I’m not hungry.” The young man quickly declined. But just as he said so, his stomach grumbled, begging for food. He looked down at his feet and fidgeted with his hands.
The old lady chucked. “Don’t hold back. I’m an old lady, I hoard a lot of crackers!” She said as she laid the crackers out.
The young man bowed again and took the cracker. Together, they ate the salty soggy crackers.
As another day went by, the damage got worse. They were sitting in wet dirty clothes. Even though they tried to dry any available clothing, things weren’t going smoothly.
“I wonder...huh I wonder if they are doing alright…” the young man said softly as he looked up at the ceiling.
“Hm? Did you say something? I’m sorry, my old ears can’t keep up!” The old lady chuckled.
The young man turned around in embarrassment.
“Oh no, excuse me. NO...I...I...no..Sorry...I was just...I was just thinking aloud. I don't know...I’m sorry.” The young man trailed off and sighed. He scratched his head as he smiled in embarrassment.
The old lady laughed.
“It's just...I was just wondering if my family is doing alright. I hope it didn't affect their area. They live farther away so they are most likely safe but still....” The young man smiled. “I have this brother and he’s still so young. And haha he’s so clums-” The young man stopped and looked down.“Oh sorry…ahahaha...I got a little off track.”
“How old is he?” The old lady asked curiously.
The young man lifted his head and paused for a second, surprised that she took interest.
“Um. Yeah. Um he’s..he’s nine years old. He’s really been into baseball lately and whenever I come home from college I’ve been teaching him.”
“How cute. That must be really fun.”
“Yeah. How-How about you?”
“My family...my family is probably okay. Most of them lives in America. My son lives in Tokyo though so I’m worried about that. But like you said I, I’m hoping it didn't travel that far.”
“How about your husband? I think I saw a picture of you two.”
“My husband passed away a long time ago.” The old lady gave a sad smile.
“Oh! How stupid of me. Oh my gosh, I’m so sorry. I really need to stop being so stupid.” The young man panicked and covered his face with his hands.
The old lady laughed so much that the young man unburied his head and looked at the old lady.
“You remind me so much of my son!” The old lady continued to laugh.
“I really miss him. He actually invited me to live with him recently because I am growing old. So, I was planning to sell this house and move in with him.”
The two looked around the house and laughed. After laughing for long, tears formed in their eyes. As their laughter started to laugh down, the old lady stiffened up and bittersweetly said “I don’t know if I’m ready to leave this place though. But I guess now I have to.”
The old lady smiled as she looked at the mess.
After more days goes by, the situation got worse. The air got colder and it became unbearable. To maintain warmth, the two shared body heat. They huddled together in the warmest part of the room. Cracker wrappers and broken objects were scattered everywhere and more water seeped through.
It was the young man’s turn to fall asleep. But just as he was sleeping as soundly he ever could in this situation, he heard a bang. He woke up with fright. But he was soon glad to know that the bang was nothing extreme and sighed with relief. He then shifted his attention to the old lady. She must be really exhausted the young man thought as the old lady was sleeping. However, the young man noticed that something was not right. He saw her hand shivering uncontrollably and her breathing was functioning at an irregular pace.
“Obaachan? Obaachan, are you okay? Can you hear me?” The young man shook her over and over again in desperation. However all she could manage was to flicker her eyelashes.
As the young man hurried to get anything he could to warm the old lady up, he heard a faint noise. He stared blankly at the ceiling as he immersed himself in the buzzing sound. He snapped back into reality, remembering the dire situation he was in. He quickly walked to her and changed her blanket.
“Please hang in there.” the young man whispered as he covered her up.
Shit. I don't know what to do! What am I supposed to do? God dammit, think! The young man panicked as he scurried around the house. He felt warm tears pressed against his cheeks as he started losing his mind.
His eyes immediately widened as he heard the buzzing noise again.
He lifted his head and instantaneously dashed towards the window. Swiftly, he tried to remove the barricade of object that blocked the way. He placed them away on the cabinet to his right and finally pushed opened the window. As he managed to peek his head out, he heard the buzzing noise more clearly. He felt a gush of relief.
He looked over to the old lady and swallowed in his tears as he said to himself, “Please hang in there. You would be saved soon...we are so close, I promise.”
The young man jerked his body out of the window and waved his hands chaotically as he repeatedly screamed for help.
The old lady heard his scream and turned her head towards the window. All she could see was his silhouette moving violently against the bright light. With her eyes half open, she hazily looked about. She paused. She broke into a bittersweet smile.
Her eyes shifted from the young man to the photo frame that was placed on the cabinet on his right. She looked back at the young man.
What a beautiful picture, she thought as she closed her eyes.
