In English, we were asked to write a second essay to help answer the question “Who am I”. We were told to think back to a story that write about <\/p>\n\n\n\n
I am crying constantly<\/span><\/strong><\/em>.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n I stress about anything<\/sup> that could possibly go wrong in any new situation. It\u2019s like I have developed a sixth sense<\/strong> for when something bad will happen, but instead of being able to harness this power to my benefit, it just causes me to spiral out of control and then completely shut down. It works like a positive feedback cycle<\/span>, where the idea<\/em> of something stressful<\/strong> makes me feel like crying<\/sup>, and the thought of people seeing me cry begins to stress me out. Even though I hadn\u2019t been diagnosed until I was fifteen, my a<\/sup>nxiety has gotten in my way for as long as I can remember<\/em>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n This panicking<\/strong> can be overwhelming<\/em> and was seemingly unstoppable. A prime example of this being my first ever ACT test. I knew that familiar sixth sense had activated on the drive to the testing center. The anticipation of something bad<\/span> happening put me on the edge of a PANIC<\/strong> before I even entered the building. I knew that the slightest thing that goes<\/sub> wrong<\/sup> might make me cry. Then when I reached the specific alphabetical testing room, almost predictably, my name was nowhere on the list. My breathing got unsteady as the woman rechecked her clipboard. \u201cHey, it\u2019s ok\u201d<\/em><\/strong>. There was another lady by the door who tried to comfort me. Unfortunately, that was all I needed to hear to start crying. But then something happened that I did not expect. The girl behind me offered me a hug.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n Slowly I am realizing that my community is much more understanding<\/em> of how I feel than I thought. Over time, I noticed there have been small<\/sub> moments like what the girl did for me at my ACT. These acts of kindness from nearby strangers have helped build up my confidence<\/span>. While I still have the same panics as before, my positive experiences with strangers have made me feel less ashamed<\/em> of my crying. People are more empathetic<\/em> and caring than we sometimes assume. Everyone has been in situations like this, people will be able to empathize with you. There is no shame in having people help you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n I have become more conscious<\/em> of what I can do to stop the panicking feedback cycle. Through therapy, I am learning how to take care of my mental health. I learned how to gather my thoughts when I start to feel overwhelmed. I became aware that the most effective thing that I can do in these situations is to just step back for a bit. Now from my experience, I feel more comfortable<\/span> voicing my problems to the people around me. Through the amount of times I have done this, the overwhelming majority of times people are happy to get me whatever they can to help.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n Learning to stay aware not only helps me keep my crying in check, but it also gives me the chance to give back to strangers<\/span> when they might need help too. About three months after the ACT incident, I was out seeing a movie with two of my friends and I was approached by a girl who I initially did not recognize. I couldn\u2019t believe it. The kind girl I had met on test day remembered who I was<\/em>. She wanted to know how I was doing now and what I was up to. This small interaction that probably only lasted five<\/strong> minutes was able to make my whole week. Her awareness was able to raise my mood twice, and I don\u2019t even know if she remembers my name. I want to be able to help people like that girl helped me. People actually do give a shit about you, even if you are not conscious of it.<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n<\/div><\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"