{"id":233,"date":"2026-10-21T01:43:01","date_gmt":"2026-10-21T01:43:01","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/freestyleacademy.rocks\/~KatarinaS\/?page_id=233"},"modified":"2026-10-23T17:03:55","modified_gmt":"2026-10-23T17:03:55","slug":"english-reflections","status":"publish","type":"page","link":"https:\/\/freestyleacademy.rocks\/~KatarinaS\/english-reflections\/","title":{"rendered":"English Reflections"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<div class=\"wp-block-columns is-layout-flex wp-container-core-columns-is-layout-f15824f9 wp-block-columns-is-layout-flex\">\n<div class=\"wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow\"><div class=\"wp-block-post-time-to-read\">7\u201311 minutes<\/div><\/div>\n\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow\"><div class=\"wp-block-post-time-to-read\">1,745 words<\/div><\/div>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n<details class=\"wp-block-details is-layout-flow wp-block-details-is-layout-flow\"><summary>Introduction to &#8220;Why. I Write&#8221; assignment.<\/summary>\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">When I began writing Why I Write, I struggled to decide what I wanted to say. I had several different drafts and approaches, ranging from why I struggle with traditional essays to why I document my ideas in the first place. Eventually, I realized that the process itself reflected what I wanted to explore: my tendency to consider multiple perspectives, revise my ideas, and return to old thoughts with new experiences. I drew from my notes app, childhood memories, and creative projects to examine how writing has shaped the way I think.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">I think the essay answers \u201cWho am I?\u201d by showing how I approach the world rather than trying to summarize everything that defines me. Writing it helped me recognize the common thread connecting my many interests and potential career paths: I value exploration, resourcefulness, and the freedom to let ideas evolve. I also came to understand that my habit of changing directions can be a productive part of my creative process. The essay became a way to explain not only why I write, but how I think, create, and make sense of myself.<\/p>\n<\/details>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Audio to follow along:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-audio\"><audio controls src=\"https:\/\/freestyleacademy.rocks\/~KatarinaS\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/10\/WhyIWriteReadAloud.mp3\"><\/audio><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\" style=\"border-width:3px\">Why I Write<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">My notes app holds a drawer full of loose threads that my writing keeps promising to deploy. Dig deep enough, and I find three lines of a song chorus that never got a melody, an outline for a school sports commentary club, a list of Wikipedia rabbit holes, and half a dozen careers I planned to pursue\u2013 each one\u2019s research starting at 1:27 am on a Tuesday. There is no thesis in this drawer. No bibliography, no red pen, no Turnitin scanning for overlap. These are written for only one reader: me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">I know that isn\u2019t what George Orwell meant in <em>Why I Write<\/em>\u2013 I have no political purpose or desire to make political writing into an art\u2013 or what Octavia Butler meant when she wrote about writing to sell a book and make history as a female African American science fiction writer. I don\u2019t write for the express purpose of changing anyone\u2019s mind except maybe my own. I simply make notes. I write to remember my ideas or events. I write to explore the multiplicity of perspectives; and I iterate, and revise, and reflect. And, of course, I write to show some creative expression.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">I first started writing notes to myself when I was six. For whatever reason, I felt this intense need to be prepared, to be well-rounded, and to have a running document of everything I was thinking and doing. I would take my mom\u2019s phone and practice typing out stories or ideas. I remember vividly this one time I had just gotten home from the pool and my hair was a rat\u2019s nest when I borrowed my mom\u2019s phone and created \u201cKATARINA PS\u201d on her notes app\u2013 where I thought \u201cPS\u201d stood for some private statement.&nbsp; I wrote my first lyrics there:&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">These three lines:&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">forget my times,&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">but don\u2019t forget to stay.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">(I didn\u2019t say it was good.) Similarly, after I read <em>Frog and Toad<\/em>, I wrote a story idea about the adventure of a blue frog. After <em>Knuffle Bunny<\/em> was read to me, I made sure to name all of my stuffed animals and write those names down so that if I lost one, it would still have a name. If I couldn\u2019t reach my mom\u2019s phone, I impulsively grabbed a Sharpie and wrote on the walls or on the blankets or, most notoriously, on the back of the driver\u2019s seat from my booster chair as we were in the rental car return line. At gymnastics, whenever we got our thirty-minute break between the two-hour segment and the ninety-minute one, I\u2019d rush to my mom and write anything I\u2019d been holding on to: funny jokes I heard or said, or routine ideas for when I got to make my own. I was convinced that if I didn\u2019t get it down, I would never remember it afterwards. And still to this day, my notes app compounds, recording thoughts, observations, and left-field humor that might slip my mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Starting in fifth grade, though, I added research to the notes. Thoughts had to be explored, opposing angles considered. I began obsessing over what career path I would follow or enjoy. The basic question, \u201cWhat do you want to be when you grow up?\u201d, was now something adults took seriously when you gave a response. I could no longer say a Cirque du Soleil acrobat, maybe an actress, then a gymnast, probably a coach, perhaps a teacher, definitely an architect, and so on, without having a valid reason and supporting evidence. I noted down the qualifications, the personality types often associated, the skills to master, and the colleges that are best known for each. At one point, I considered being a career counselor, which, for someone who couldn\u2019t pick her own path, was either a bold choice or a cry for help. Despite countless potential career switches, I can look back at my notes and find the through line and recognize my reasoning for each selection: hands-on, creative, and evolving. I didn\u2019t want a fixed destination. I write for fluidity and multiplicity.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">That is partly why argumentative essays take a while for me to call final. On school templates, they usually ask you to write your thesis first, then do your research, then find a possible counter-argument and explain why it would be faulty. Writing for me is always evolving. Formal feels final, and my need for iteration is stifled. So, when I am prompted to write an essay, I don\u2019t find a thesis. I prefer to generate pages of angles. Give me an argumentative prompt, with one allowed counterargument that I\u2019m then supposed to prove incorrect, and I can build a courtroom\u2019s worth of evidence for either side. I contend multiplicity isn\u2019t indecision if you keep notes\u2013 it\u2019s exploring with a paper trail.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">The act of iteration, rather than the finality of writing, is what generates my creativity and self-expression. An idea in my drawer doesn\u2019t have to become anything at a particular time. A chorus without a melody can sit for months until I hum something else and I can combine the two ideas. My process is far from scheduled. It\u2019s returning to old ideas with new eyes and finding ways to keep the original spark intact. Creativity, I\u2019ve decided, is mostly resourcefulness: using whatever is lying around, including the version of me from last March, and making something unique.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Two years ago I noted an idea about someone building their career around escaping the life they have. It was repetitive in the romance movies I was watching, but I wanted to come up with something unique. Then one year ago, my friend was looking at colleges around the country for pilots. As I do, I started researching on his behalf and joked about the locations. I found some of them purposefully in boring areas so he would be motivated to get his license quickly and leave. It was the same oppositional thinking colleges used for architecture\u2013 give the students an ugly concrete brutalist building so that they would want to make something more interesting. Finally, it was at the start of the school year when I reflected on my original note about making a career out of leaving and connected it to pilots and runways. That\u2019s when I wrote some lines, \u201cyou built a runway just to run away\u201d, and crafted lyrics into a decent song.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Revisiting my previous ideas and notes is what let me create something better than I would have two years earlier. I was able to take my time and wait for the right moment to resume a train of thought. School, meanwhile, teaches writing like a public transit system. You pick a destination, wait at the designated spot, and judge your progress by a predicted arrival time. Every story is mapped, every delay is penalized, and you\u2019re expected to reach the conclusion on cue. By that standard, I\u2019m the MTA in New York, surprised at myself whenever I do show up on time. When I board my own train of thought, I throw out the time table. I don\u2019t lay track in advance or steer towards a checkpoint. I build the train while running it\u2013 a horrendous business model for the public and the only test run I trust.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">And the timetable gets faster while the tracks get narrower. After decades of <em>The Great Gatsby<\/em> classroom analysis, finding a new angle is nearly impossible. If just in the classroom people are writing about the same three symbols: the green light, the yellow car, and the shirts. Think of how few written variations there are left now\u2013 after the armies of students multiplied by the number of classes, amount of schools, and quantity of years. You are told to be original, then handed identical materials and templates. Today, tools that autocomplete a sentence before I\u2019ve decided what it means make that predictability an even easier trap.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Templates run on prediction: the conclusion is chosen before the evidence is gathered. Imagine carrying that logic into a conversation. You calculate where someone\u2019s sentence is going, draft your reply to a question they haven\u2019t asked, and prepare to laugh before the punchline. If you already know the ending, there\u2019s nothing left to find or explore. What I keep in the drawer is the opposite: ideas that take a season to grow, with conclusions I can\u2019t predict because I have yet to think of the perfect one.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">What I value? My library of notes, so I remember my ideas for the day they make sense. Exploring over concluding, so that my writing continues to evolve and improve. The resourceful creativity of making something from whatever\u2019s lying around, and finding the jokes in my own detours.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">This essay started in the drawer, too. It was a page of angles: one draft about why I can\u2019t write essays, one about why I document, one about why I film, and one I abandoned for sounding too complaining. I didn\u2019t know which would work until I tried them, which, etymologically, is the whole idea. And still while writing this, I paused to jot down the starts of new rabbit holes I\u2019ll follow later. I\u2019m told to trust the process, and I mostly do. I just don\u2019t promise that it will run on time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-columns is-layout-flex wp-container-core-columns-is-layout-f15824f9 wp-block-columns-is-layout-flex\">\n<div class=\"wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow\">\n<div id=\"makeiteasy-back-to-top\" data-smooth-scroll=\"true\" data-enable-on-desktop=\"true\" data-break-point-mobile-desktop=\"768\" data-go-to-bottom=\"false\" style=\"--makeiteasy-back-to-top-opacity:0.32;--makeiteasy-back-to-top-visibility-transition-duration:0.3s;--makeiteasy-back-to-top-right:30px;--makeiteasy-back-to-top-bottom:30px\" class=\"wp-block-makeiteasy-back-to-top\">\n<div class=\"wp-block-button\"><a class=\"wp-block-button__link wp-element-button\" style=\"border-radius:9px;padding-top:12px;padding-right:12px;padding-bottom:12px;padding-left:12px\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"24\" height=\"24\" src=\"data:image\/svg+xml;base64,PHN2ZyB3aWR0aD0iMjQiIGhlaWdodD0iMjQiIHZlcnNpb249IjEuMSIgdmlld0JveD0iMCA5NiA0ODAgMjgzIiB4bWxucz0iaHR0cDovL3d3dy53My5vcmcvMjAwMC9zdmciPjxwYXRoIGQ9Im00MyAzNzktNDMtNDMgMjQwLTI0MCAyNDAgMjQwLTQzIDQzLTE5Ny0xOTd6IiBmaWxsPSIjZmZmIi8+PC9zdmc+Cg==\" alt=\"Back to top arrow\"><\/a><\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow\"><\/div>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-buttons is-content-justification-center is-layout-flex wp-container-core-buttons-is-layout-a49f0ca2 wp-block-buttons-is-layout-flex\">\n<div class=\"wp-block-button\"><a class=\"wp-block-button__link has-text-align-center wp-element-button\" href=\"https:\/\/freestyleacademy.rocks\/~KatarinaS\/reflections-nav\/\">Back to Reflections Navigator<\/a><\/div>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Audio to follow along: Why I Write My notes app holds a drawer full of loose threads that my writing keeps promising to deploy. Dig deep enough, and I find three lines of a song chorus that never got a melody, an outline for a school sports commentary club, a list of Wikipedia rabbit holes, [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"parent":0,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"footnotes":""},"class_list":["post-233","page","type-page","status-publish","hentry"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/freestyleacademy.rocks\/~KatarinaS\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/233","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/freestyleacademy.rocks\/~KatarinaS\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/freestyleacademy.rocks\/~KatarinaS\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/page"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/freestyleacademy.rocks\/~KatarinaS\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/freestyleacademy.rocks\/~KatarinaS\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=233"}],"version-history":[{"count":6,"href":"https:\/\/freestyleacademy.rocks\/~KatarinaS\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/233\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":281,"href":"https:\/\/freestyleacademy.rocks\/~KatarinaS\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/233\/revisions\/281"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/freestyleacademy.rocks\/~KatarinaS\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=233"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}