The prince found the mermaid on the beach, but he didn’t know she was a mermaid because she didn’t have a tail. She had legs because she wanted to walk around and you can’t walk around with a tail. She wanted to meet the prince because she saw him and thought he was pretty.
“Are you the girl who rescued me?” He asked.
She said nothing because the witch had made it so she couldn’t talk. The prince felt bad for her, like you do when you see a cold wet kitten. He took her back to his palace and gave her a bath because she was very dirty. Then he gave her lots of jewelry because he was a prince. This shows that he loves her because giving other people jewelry is romantic. That’s why Ms. Carter wears that sparkly ring even though she complains about getting playdough stuck in it. That’s why mommy has all those rings and necklaces daddy gave her, even though she hasn’t worn them in a long time.
“Except he was already married.” Sophie said. I hadn’t noticed Sophie standing in the door. She looked silly in that big shirt she wore to sleep, and it wasn’t even daddy’s. She never wore daddy’s old shirts anymore. I was just about to tell her she’s wrong because that isn’t how the story goes when mommy squeezed my hand like she squeezes oranges at the grocery store. I tried to look really interested because I was ready to hear the rest of the story, just like the oranges are ready to be eaten.
“Sophie,” she said in the tone she got when someone left the refrigerator open, but she was looking straight at me. “He had been married but she ...died so now he was looking for love again.”
“But, he wasn’t ready. He was still too in love with her.” Sophie said.
“Sophia!”
“He couldn’t take a step in the castle without being reminded of her.”
“So one day, the Prince decided to... to... take a journey out to sea!”
The picture in the book showed the mermaid in her fancy dress dancing with the prince. I looked at my mother, then at my sister.
“Except there was a terrible storm.”
“Which the little mermaid knew about, because she was a mermaid. So she warned him.”
Mr. Fingers wanted to hear better so I pulled him out from behind the pillow, promising myself to apologize later for squishing him. He needed to breathe. My eyebrows wrinkled. Did starfish need to breathe?
“Or she tried, but she didn’t have a tongue. No matter how much she waved her hands, or gestured at the sky or at the sea, or mouthed her warning, he didn’t understand. Or maybe just didn’t listen. So with a storm on the horizon, the prince went out to sea.” I stared at Sophia. Ms. Carter said some people could talk with their hands. Maybe the mermaid should learn how to do that.
“Yes... well, the prince was a very accomplished sailor.”
“But in a storm, even the best of sailors can drown. Which he did.”
“The prince dies!?” I cried, squashing Mr. Fingers in my arms. But he was still dancing in the book. Mommy had read this story to me before and this was not it.
“No!” Mommy said.
“Yes.” Sophia said. “And since he drowned, the little mermaid got to keep her legs, but she was all alone in the big world with no prince and no sisters. And she was very sad.”
This was not the story. The mermaid and the prince fall in love, the witch tries to kill him and break the spell but the mermaid stops her, she stays human, and they get married. They live happily ever after.
“This is a sad story!” I said. Mr. Fingers wiggled a finger in agreement. Mommy tugged at my hand, but Sophia was staring at me.
“I know.” Sophia said, which was silly because if it was sad why was she talking about it?
“Sometimes,” Sophie said, “things have to be sad and scary before they get better.”
Sophie padded down the black hallway, toes digging into thin rugs that patched the floor, too threadbare to stave off the cold of the hardwood. The door at the end of the hall was open, and the room was dark, aside from the glow of the bedside lamp, angled towards the book that lay open on her mother’s lap. Long blocky shadows cast against the greying purple of the bedspread. Elena was propped up against a pillow, staring avidly at the bright illustrations of the open storybook. In the dim light, the cover was too red for black and too dark for rust, and the title was lost to shadow. The inside pages were glossy enough to reflect light, deepening the creases around her mother’s mouth, the lines near her brow, the bags under her eyes, emphasized the taut bow of her smile. Sophia leaned against the door, unseen.
“And finally the prince gave her a jeweled hairpin to keep her wild hair from her eyes and told her that he loved her very much.”
Sophia gave a small huff of air.
“Except he was already married.” She said.
Her mother glared.
“Sophie.” She turned back to Elena. “He had been married but she... died so now he was looking for love again.”
Sophia considered her mother’s too wide eyes and too wide smile.
“But he wasn’t ready. He was still too in love with her.”
“Sophia!” Her mother snapped, smile and gaze unbudging. Sophia stared at the spot where her mother’s eyes would have been if the woman had bothered to look.
“He couldn’t take a step in the castle without being reminded of her.”
“So one day, the Prince decided to..”
Sit in his room and sulk? Kill some peasants? Leave? Sophie crossed her arms and fought the upward tick of her eyebrow.
“to... take a journey out to sea!”
“Except there was a terrible storm.” Sophie said, without pause.
Elena hugged her stuffed starfish against her chest.
“Which the little mermaid knew about, because she was a mermaid. So she warned him.”
“Or she tried, but she didn’t have a tongue. No matter how much she waved her hands, or gestured at the sky or at the sea, or mouthed her warning, he didn’t understand. Or maybe just didn’t listen. So with a storm on the horizon, the prince went out to sea.”
“Yes... well, the prince was a very accomplished sailor.”
“But in a storm, even the best of sailors can drown. Which he did.”
“The prince dies!?” Elena leaned forward, eyes wide and fingers clinging tight to her pillow.
“No!” said their mother.
“Yes,” said Sophia. “And since he drowned, the little mermaid got to keep her legs, but she was all alone in the big world with no prince and no sisters. And she was very sad.”
“This is a sad story!” Elena said into her starfish.
“I know.” Sophia said. She pushed herself off the door frame. Her mother’s gaze pressed at her, but Sophia did not look away from Elena, nested and safe in the bed. “Sometimes things have to be sad and scary before they get better. So, the mermaid was sad and scared, but she had her legs, so she started walking.”
Sophia hesitated by the end of the bed, not drawing back, not reaching out, not looking at her mother.
“It had been her dream, hadn’t it, to explore the world above? She traded her gold dress, her silver ring, and her emerald brooch for sturdy clothes, food, and shelter. She walked through towns and villages, by rivers and streams and lakes. She saw trees as tall as mountains, and mountains that touched the heavens. She saw great temples, and sprawling markets, and castles made of gold. She still missed her prince, but realized that she had only know him for a few days, and that the world was still beautiful without him in it. Finally, the day came to trade away her jeweled hairpin.”
Sophia drew in a breath to continue.
“And she bought a boat,” their mother said, closing the book in her lap and meeting Elena’s wide eyes. Her mother licked her lips and started again.
When her mother glanced towards her, Sophia met her gaze.
“So the prince took pity on the mute girl, and took her back to his palace. And when they cleaned the sand from her skin and brushed out her hair and gave her a gold dress to wear, he saw how beautiful she was. And when she danced with him, he fell in love.”
“So he gave her a emerald brooch that matched her eyes, and a silver ring to wear on her finger and finally the prince gave her a jeweled hairpin to keep her wild hair from her eyes and told her that he loved her very much.”
“Except he was already married.”
I jerked, fingers tightening around Elena’s hand. The dim figure leaned languidly against the door, arms crossed, smirking.
“Sophie,” I said, pursing my lips at her before turning pointedly back to smile at Elena. I squeezed her hand softly. “He had been married but she…” I stared into her wide eyes. “...died so now he was looking for love again.”
“But,” came a grating voice. “He wasn’t ready. He was still too in love with her.”
“Sophia!” My knuckles blanched where I gripped the book in my lap but I did not turn to meet her unrepentant gaze. Couldn’t she give her sister this much?
“He couldn’t take a step in the castle without being reminded of her.” Sophia said.
“So one day, the Prince decided to...” what? I swallowed. “to... take a journey out to sea!”
“Except there was a terrible storm.”
“Which the little mermaid knew about, because she was a mermaid. So she warned him.”
“Or she tried, but she didn’t have a tongue. No matter how much she waved her hands, or gestured at the sky or at the sea, or mouthed her warning, he didn’t understand. Or maybe just didn’t listen. So with a storm on the horizon, the prince went out to sea.” I stared at Sophia, incredulous. I made to stand but Elena’s riveted expression stopped me.
“Yes... well, the prince was a very accomplished sailor.”
“But in a storm, even the best of sailors can drown. Which he did.”
“The prince dies!?” Was there an unusual shine around Elena’s eyes?
“No!” I said.
“Yes.” The pressure of my clenched jaw caused a pounding behind my eyes. “And since he drowned, the little mermaid got to keep her legs, but she was all alone in the big world with no prince and no sisters. And she was very sad.” Good God, couldn’t she just go?
“This is a sad story!” I tugged at Elena’s hand to draw her attention back to me and opened my mouth. There was another prince, or a fairy godmother, or a kind witch, or a loophole, or the power of love. There was a happy ending just as soon as I thought of one.
“I know.” Sophia uncrossed her arms and stepped into the room. In the looming dark of the door, swimming in an oversized t-shirt she seemed very small. I shut my mouth. The shadows under my older daughter’s eyes looked deep.
“Sometimes things have to be sad and scary before they get better. So, the mermaid was sad and scared, but she had her legs, so she started walking. It had been her dream, hadn’t it, to explore the world above?”
Sophia stopped by the foot of Elena’s bed, leaning forward, and her eyes did not waver from her sister’s.
“She traded her gold dress, her silver ring, and her emerald brooch for sturdy clothes, food, and shelter. She walked through towns and villages, by rivers and streams and lakes. She saw trees as tall as mountains, and mountains that touched the heavens.” Sophia waved her hands, her face relaxing into wonder.
Across my lap, the mermaid danced with the prince in her metal dress.
“She saw great temples,” Sophia said. “And sprawling markets, and castles made of gold. She still missed her prince, but realized that she had only know him for a few days, and that the world was still beautiful without him in it. Finally, the day came to trade away her jeweled hairpin.”
I shut the book.
“And she bought a boat,” I swallowed against my dry throat, licked my lips, tried again.
“She bought a boat, and became its captain, and hired the friends she had made on her journey as her crew, and together they explored far off places. They saw...” I met my elder’s gaze, young and tired.
“...caves made of crystal, and forests as big as the ocean.” Elena’s eyes were wide and bright, but not with tears.
I continued.
“And every morning, she would lean over the edge of the boat and speak to her sisters in the water and they would tell her about the world below and sing so her ship would be fast and safe and she in turn would give them gifts she had bought in far off corners of the globe, and tell them stories of the wonders of the world. And that is how the little mermaid lived the rest of her life.”
