“But if you just gave me more time, Sir, I could explain to you why. Why I should

go back, why I could do it over again. And I could do it so much better, Sir.”

“If you wish to complain about the future, you will have to forgive my lacking in

that particular department. I see no way to judge on what has not happened”

“But please sir, I would most certainly, Sir-”

“I value explanations over band-aids. All days of the week.”

“Sir, I-”

“Just talk, and I’ll figure out the rest as we go”

Went somewhere, saw something, now what? I traveled and studied, I lived

and loved and lost. I made my mistakes and they taught me about life. I think I made

something of my life. But that would depend on who you ask. My mother never tells, has

never told, and will never tell you that I have made something of my life. Like we’re born

with a chunk of clay and we’re supposed to spend all this time learning how to mold it.

And now, after everything, I do believe I am sufficiently bored.

“You did this because you were bored?”

“Well, sir, I do lots of things because I’m bored”

“Is this one of them?”

“Sir, you told me only to talk.” A small twist, possibly near the mouth.

I was bored when I saw that movie yesterday. I knew the whodunit because it’s

always something to do with that character that they put on screen for just two little

minutes. And they always seem so helpful. You usually don’t have to actually deduce the

culprit for yourself, kind of like two of my television shows that I now mix up because

they’ve stolen each other’s plotlines. I know what’s going to happen. At least, I always

know who. The how is always the smallest bit trickier, but not so much trickier. Identical

twins, mostly just the age old magicians’ art of misdirection. If I was a stupid audience

member, perhaps like the lady next to me who was herself a cliché, the movie could

have been enjoyable. Fascinating, even. Isn’t there any other scent of perfume for elderly

ladies? Sometimes I feel like death tries to latch onto them early, only instead of killing

them, it only manages to make them smell like they’re past their expirations date.

“You, of all people, sir. You understand. The patterns I saw in one lifetime

brought me here, sir. And sir, we you see them all the time, don’t you sir? Sir?”

I was bored for a week straight when I followed my friend James via road trip he

took because he was bored. We got stuck at the tollbooth, because Jack decided that two

pennies was worth calling in about four different city officials but then the rest of the trip

went great. We drove five hours without speaking, but rather playing three consecutive

albums of our all time favorites.

So shock me. Astound me. Run up behind me and shout boo or pretend to rid me

of hiccups or tell me you’ve decided to move to Australia, which might surprise me.

Except lot’s of people go to Australia, I suppose. If I made wishes I’d wish I were

in Australia. To see koalas and kangaroos. And people have always liked kangaroos. I

suppose I do too then.

“This is the way you see the world?”

“Doesn’t everyone, Sir?” Over and over, over and again. Too similar; not just

then but now as well.

“To some extent, yes. But not everyone.”

“Sir, I’d like very much to believe you Sir. Sir?”

“You took something because you could no longer feel it. You say you have eaten

too much food for it to have flavor, heard too many songs to hear the beauty in them.

Maybe you have lived too much to have any life. Not too much, I suppose, but too long.

And to you too long is too much.

“And so I have a proposition for you. You want to go back, to do it again like the

others. I will allow this. But you will not keep your mind, as the others do. You will have

to avoid the mistake you do not know you will make. If you make the same error again, I

will not review this case or these circumstances again.”

“How will I know what to avoid if I don’t remember?” That phrase, it seemed

familiar. Like every other memory he knew; repeated and rehearsed.

---

“Sir?” Why do I call you sir?”

“It is easier than explaining my name”

“There must be a very interesting story behind that Sir.”

“To some, perhaps.”

“But I suppose… I suppose you get tired of telling it, Sir.”

“Not today.” A smile.