This portrait was awfully challenging for me to do and not for the reasons that one might think. I have experimented with composing for a while and though I do have a love for it, I’ve always done it behind closed doors. I compose and change pictures that enhance the best and worst of other people, in movies, in the music industry and in fictional worlds, but not once did I dare take the courage to show the best and worst of me with that same skill. I decided to challenge myself this time and do just that for this piece. Through trial and error I came to finish what is now this self portrait taking every detail into deep consideration to add.
To begin with, on opposite edges of this picture you can see what would look like book pages which was meant to give a wild taken idea that if you were to rip the pages of the book of my current life, this is what you’d see. The color combination is a personal easter egg, if you will, of the self duality I’ve faced through the course of my life which I like to represent as the deep purple tones and a serene blue, the pastel pink representing the midpoint of that duality. Both opposing lines are slightly easier to explain, because as a human I too struggle and I am a big believer that crying helps you vent and get through those tough times, thus these two ongoing rectangles starting from my eyes up to the bottom of the picture represent the bad times going away through my tears. The faded cloud steaming out of my parted face are the endless thoughts and worries that are every so often in my head, just like a cloud, in my mind those memories and thoughts start fading away. The rose in line trace would take more time to explain so as to keep a lack of words, for me roses have represented the person I was in the past and who I’ve learnt from ever since. Finally, I’ve added butterflies in this piece, and though they have many symbolisms and meanings, I chose these masked ones to contrast with the color palette that goes on behind them and to embody self change, hope, for the future, life, and whatever lies ahead. I am still slightly scared to put this out there but I feel strongly that this is part of growing as an artist and truly as a person. Hopefully one day I can look back at this piece and see if the girl illustrated now is any similar to the one in the future, who is that girl I see, staring straight back at me… a little humor there to finish this VERY long paragraph.
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