Speaking In Tongues
 
I’m going to hell, Shannon thought. I’m going to hell. “Mrs. Shannon Lee Maze! Concentrate on your prayers,” Sister Linda snapped in her southern twang. She knelt down and sharply whispered into Shannon’s ear, “You look real unhappy to be in the presence of our Lord Jesus. Now you know what’s comin' soon if you don’t shape up.” She forced a smile as she winked a beady eye, and left Shannon to check up on the other children.
“Yes, sister Linda. I’m sorry sister Linda,” Shannon mechanically responded. She stood in a circle with twenty other children her age, arms raised, forcefully pinching the back of her bare legs to bring tears. “Thank you our Lord. We love you our lord. We are so blessed to have you as our savior Lord,” she recited in unison with the group. Tears streamed down every dirty and chubby face but her own.  “Kelly,” she whispered and nudged her younger sister. “Step on my foot.”
“No! You ain’t wearing any shoes Shan. You need to learn to fake cry without my help.”
“Step on my foot, Kelly, or I will put mine up your you know what later.”
Sighing, Kelly lifted her size two Nike tennis shoe, and took a mighty step on her sister’s foot. Shannon bit her chapped lip and winced in pain as the tears started to pour. She sighed in relief.
“Kelly,” she said and nudged her sister again.
“Shannon, shutup. I’m not stepping on your foot again.”
“Its not that. My tenth birthday is in a week and I don’t got the holy ghost yet. You know what brother Sam says happens if you don’t get it by ten,” Shannon said. She shuffled her feet and peeked around to make sure that Sister Linda wasn’t looking.
“Yes,” Kelly said, confirming Shannon’s fears. “You can’t get baptized and you got to go straight to hell.”
            Preacher Sam’s fanatical voice describing this horrific fate rang in her ears. "The fearful, and unbelieving, and murderers, and whoremongers, and sorcerers, and all liars, shall have their part in the lake which burneth with fire and brimstone: which is the second death. Shannon whimpered and turned back to her sister, “But Kel. How do you get the holy ghost? I don’t want to go to hell with the murderers.”
            “You know how. You speak tongues, God’s language. Like that woman we always hear after bible classes. Calamah Calamah Say.”
Shannon remembered the woman. Everyday after church, she would raise her hands high, shake, cry, and say the same three phrases for an hour.
“How, though? I don’t really know tongues.”
Kelly turned to her. “Fake it,” she whispered and then stomped again on Shannon’s foot, making her crying more believable.
            “Shalamah Shalamah Shy,” Shannon burst out, eyes shut and face solemn, trying her best to imitate the woman. She peeked out of her left eye to see what the church was doing, and saw a silenced audience awaiting further performance. “Shalamah Shalamah Shi. Shalamah hoola mahalo lee.” The church gasped. She continued her rambling sentences, praying to God that the church full of people would actually believe her. Sister Linda ran across the pews to pick Shannon up, and screamed, “This here child’s got the holy ghost! She’s got the holy ghost!” The church burst out into joyous cries and applause.
Shocked and amazed that it had work,  Shannon smiled and stared in ecstasy at the stained glass windows covered with biblical scenes. The slight light from the sun reflected the glass, and its colors scattered around her. Looking up at the ceiling, she felt her stomach lurch.  A picture of the Virgin Mary stared down at her with condescending eyes. The church full of cheering people that surrounded her had been successfully fooled. She had even managed to trick Brother Sam and Sister Linda, but Mary reminded her that that God might not be so easily tricked.
Later that night, Shannon was baptized. She watched her mother gleam with ignorant pride as brother Sam asked, "My child, Will you promise to love the Lord God with your whole heart, with your whole soul, and with all your mind?” She took a deep breath, and looked towards the pitiful audience, all unconsciously crying and staring at her.  Sister Linda caught her eye, grinned and winked. Fingers crossed underneath her dress, Shannon dutifully responded, “I do Promise to Praise our Lord Jesus.”   Brother Sam’s faced relaxed, and he beamed as he pronounced, “Child, I baptize you in the name of + the Father, and of + the Son, and of + the Holy Spirit. Amen.” The holy water he poured onto her face slowly dripped down, concealing her tears.  I’m not going to hell, she thought. I’m not going to hell.