Journal Entry: November 30th, 2013. I normally dislike change. Or I normally just don’t care to make any change at all. One does not exactly know the outcome of it by the end, therefore, why try? Life should be lived spontaneously. Though, I think change is calling for me. So many things have been happening in my life, that I think I should start a new one. I am changing schools again, and have recently received the report that I'll need to be on insulin and two inhalers that includes a spacer, which is quite a bit to take on. Ever since my brother, James, passed away, this room has been causing nightmares, making my blood rush and causing my insides to burn. This has always been a part of being a stubborn-- you could say terrible diabetic, so I am not sure why my doctor recommends me rearranging my room. He says it will help me get sleep and “move on.” I guess I'll take on the challenge since I've got nothing to lose. I suppose keeping this room exactly how it is, the way James slept in it, is the trigger for those terrible, painful nights, with my awesome health life and all. Journal Entry: December 1, 2013. I have decided I will move my bed near the window, with the oak desk to the left side of it. I’ve always liked to look at the moon and see what kind of shape and shade its decided to take on that night. I can also have my inhalers besides my bed on the oak desk. I feel safe that way, since James is no longer able to wake me up nor run for them when I lose my breath. Lately its been constant. I am considering painting over my dresser, the one that used to be James'. It is much spacier and in better condition. It is also an oaky color, but I think I will make it black. Also, the posters. He always had a particular order he had our posters in. I have about three, and the rest belong to him. We both had the same interest in bands, so I just let him buy the posters while I bought us the concert tickets. We have been to quite a bit of concerts together. The Deftones, Mars of Volta, Pixies, Metallica, and the list goes on. I think I will move them in different areas to mix it up a bit as well. There is an Ozzy Osbourne poster that has a picture of Ozzy’s big ol’ face that greets whoever enters the room, since the wall curves at the corner near the door. He isn’t so sexy. I think I’ll put my Nirvana poster there. It’s more simple, and one of my favorite bands. It’s in my closet about to slide off the wall I believe. I didn’t have tacs at the time I wanted to put it up, so it’s been living above my clothes. I think it’ll do. But damn did James go crazy with the cutting. This makes it a bit trickier to arrange. I’ll start tomorrow. Journal Entry: December 3, 2013. I have overslept today.

I normally do not like to be touched, nor do I like to touch others. I like where I am at right now, but apparently Adrian does not. I heard from Ozzy, who was once the greeter for the room, that there was going to be some serious redecorating in here. He is now to the left of me and boy does he look more crazier than I thought he did when I first saw him. Anyway, he says Adrian was telling his girlfriend that he was planning to. I wonder if this was her damn idea. All I know is, I better not be the one to get torn down, ripped up in pieces for the old trash can that contains empty soda cans along with Adrian's baby sister's waste, and any other kind of mess that would damage my color. I already have a white scratch from one of Adrian’s damn metal hangers as it is already. I look to my right, all of a sudden the Misfits appear, so I tell them: “Hey! What are you guys doing here now this is my--” and right when I’m about to tell the Misfits off I get torn from the wall and placed right in front of the room door! I could not believe Adrian moved me. My white scratch was now exposed and everyone could see it. Suddenly I heard Lydia’s soft voice from the right side of the room saying “You look great, Nirvana! You could barely even tell you have a scratch!” I could not believe Lydia felt she should lie to me. As time went by, I eventually heard someone coming into the room. I then realized it was more than two footsteps, but quite a few. “Great, now more others are going to see this change Adrian has made, which means me.” I thought people would look at me with a funny face, and I hated being so close to the door because not only did it give me the spotlight, but also chills that made my corners blow all over the place. With this thought in my head, Adrian and three of his friends walked in. Two of them told him, “Hey man that’s a pretty sick poster ya got there, where’d you get it?” Adrian replied, “In Santa Cruz at one of their shops. It was the last one. Guess I got lucky.” Once they got what they needed, which was some drumsticks and a guitar, I looked over and a few others simply said, “Just accept the compliment.” Right after, Lydia made another remark, this time it being about accepting change.

Looking around a decent size room with every color on the spectrum can be quite interesting. This would be the case of having about thirty posters on each wall, maybe even more, but definitely at least thirty. However looking around a decent sized room, with each poster reflecting on a memory with a dead person, may not be as pleasing as it is being interesting. For this reason, Adrian feels that maybe he should change the way it is organized and set up ever since his brother, James, passed away in a car accident. From the moment you enter the room, where you first see an Ozzy Osbourne poster, to the farthest wall that is across the room door, Adrian has decided to redecorate. Even the inside of the closet. His lady friend told him, “I think if you allow change to be a part of your life you’ll actually start to feel a change. Not just in this room but in yourself.” Adrian is actually taking advice from her after he mentioned what the doctor told him. He is normally too stubborn to listen to his doctor, but he will listen to almost anything she says, on his good days. Nirvana has been complaining all day because of the fact that Adrian has decided to move him towards the front, where Ozzy once was. He keeps telling us not to look at his scratch, though no one even noticed it until he mentioned it. His eyes remain the same but he is no longer smiling. His mouth remains a horizontal line, and just as Lydia tells him he looks great where he is, he tells her, “Lydia you don’t have to lie to make me feel better.” All objects her setting contains drop and she tells him to stop being so modest. Shortly after, Adrian and three of his friends arrive to gather some band instruments. Before they do so, two of his friends ask him where he found Nirvana, because in their eyes, like Lydia, he looks great. As they would say, he looks “sick,” but not in the literal sense. Once this happens, Nirvana’s straight face suddenly turns back to normal, and smiles, just like he used to when he only knew the inside of Adrian’s and Jame’s closet.