In our English class, we were assigned a project in which we were to take some aspect of our life and formulate it into an essay. I chose the subject of pursuing ones undying passion, even in the face of adversity and defeat. It tells the reader that giving up is never an option. Always push on, even when life is difficult.
An ember burns within me, softly at first. Then it grows, fueled by the pure unbridled drive to indulge in my passions. It grows to a greedy, roaring flame that devours any kindling I provide it. The licking tendrils of flame creep ever higher like tortured vines; writhing in a seething mass with such ferocity it is almost frightening. I tend to this ever- consuming inferno, fueling its voracious appetite for hopes, dreams and thoughts. While I am growing my fiery passions, I am also wrestling with an unseen beast that exists within the confines of myself. I lie locked in an epic struggle to maintain a paper-thin balance between reality and fantasy. I struggle with balancing the things I love to do and the things I have to do—my passions and my obligations.
To truly live out my ambitions and fulfill my goals I must tame this unbroken demon that dwells within me. For it is both my friend and foe. My ever-elusive dreams race ahead of me, and I stumble through the dust of life to follow. I hope to achieve what only a select group of others have accomplished; to live out my dreams to their fullest potential with no regard for society's hollow promises of material happiness and wealth. Genuine happiness may feel intangible, but with passion and drive it is well within the reach of all.
In my brief existence, I have wrestled vigorously with the concept of committing myself to total drive. I have begun to scratch the surface and initiated my quest to achieve my aspirations. An emerging underground art form known as "light gloving" has captivated me. This increasingly popular brand of art allows me, the "glover," to have total freedom over my own style, form, and technique. I use individually housed and colored LED strobes,in a set of white gloves to create a "lightshow." This is where the fire engulfs me. I allow the tenacious tongues of flame to fill every inch of my body. I blindly follow their snaking patterns, converting figurative energy into physical matter. The ribbons of light allow me to fill a blank canvas of air with my emotions, my thoughts and my feelings. I turn off my lights, turn on my music and let the day's frustrations evaporate from the glowing tips of my fingers. My worries fade through my pores and into the air. Every day I work on perfecting my technique, revolutionizing my quirky and unique style, and creating new moves to amaze my viewers. Gloving gets me through tough times and makes smooth sailing all the smoother. I use it as an outlet for my anger, frustration and sadness. Gloving converts negativity into a feeling of freedom and unbridled bliss. This illuminating art form is woven into the fiber of my being.
Some have reached an "enlightened state of being" by following their passions. I feel "enlightened" when I am gloving. Buddha is one of the select few who have reached this state in quite a real sense of the expression. He allowed his internal fire to burn so brightly that it became everlasting. His ambitions for a higher understanding stripped everything he held near and dear. Yet no matter how he suffered in his labors, he persevered. Never once doubting his internal will, never once giving up on his spiritual quest. He kindled his inward hearth with all the will in the world and allowed nothing, physical or mental, to halt him. Ultimately, he achieved the most elevated state of being one can hope to rise to.
"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure." Marianne Williamson. Many people are terrified of unleashing the full fury of the sleeping giant that slumbers within them. They fear what, in truth, could be the key to unlocking all the secrets and happiness one can discover. Others simply do not know how, and spend their lives aimlessly wandering empty spiritual plains. Then there are those who identify their passions and cultivate them. This is what I strive to do every waking second of every day. I am not a fearful spirit, yet I have not allowed myself to fully discover my soul's passion. Society's material pitfalls and carefully laid traps are not always easily visible to me, and I occasionally fall prey to its devious devices. I feel an internal change beginning within me. I will fight and bleed for the causes I believe in. No physical barrier will hold me back from rising to the full height of my potential. I will tend to my inner flame and raise it from a single spark into a blazing inferno that cannot, and will not be extinguished.
