The Listener Lyrical Essay Unit in English was aimed at introducing the author into a perspective or experience that greatly differs from their own life. By combining elements of memoir, poetry, and research writing, this type of essay is a nonfiction narrative that takes the experience of one person but is written by another who assumes the place of the subject. The unit primarily focused on identity of the subject, drawing inspiration from the style of writing present in Claudia Rankine’s Citizen.

My subject was a family member who is old enough to have lived in Russia during a time of extreme Anti-Semitism, before moving to Australia. Although their new home is much more tolerant of their ethnic identity, there can still be instances where they experience things that remind them of their early past in Russia. It was different for me to interpret, despite sharing some of this same identity with them since I am an American resident that wasn’t raised in a Jewish culture like they were. However, it was all the more interesting to see what it was like and the comparisons that I was allowed to hear about in their life.

What will you choose to be today? 

Is today when you finally can rest?

Or will you continue to ignore the rancid Christmas tree in the living room? 

What is it even doing there? 

Outside your sheltered cubicle, you decide Friday won’t be the day you explain what the Sabbath is to Chelsea. She didn’t listen the first time anyway. 

Or the second, for that matter. 

The traffic today is light,

yet you can’t help but unleash the horns upon the old lady blocking your right turn.  She’s barely tall enough to look through her dashboard.

No, it actually is important. 

The imprints of your nails stain your palms.

THINGS MAY SEEM CLOSER THAN THEY APPEAR

How many more honks will it take to make you forget that not everyone is out to get you?

You can approach crosswalks without ever needing to look over your shoulder. He isn’t there to ridicule the size of your nose or the thickness of your hair. 

Teasing you was his way of flirting, right?

You refuse to believe that relabeling you as an 

unholy pig

does anything satisfying. 

The hippie on wheels in front of you reminds you of the circus near Moscow. 

“Co-exist.”

The Orthodox would beg to differ.

Is this some kind of sick joke? 

Process – Interview

Focus:  Ethnic Influence on Identity October 14th, 2019

What in your upbringing helped you discover what it meant to be a “citizen”?

Being raised as Jewish, there were always little quirks that always made my habits as a now adult more distinguishable than those of my peers. For example, my non-Jewish friends did not follow the dietary rules I upheld as a child. Some of these included not mixing meat and dairy, not consuming pork, and other holidays that I observed personally outside of typical holidays like Hanukkah or Yom Kippur. I think the word ‘citizen’ relates to what my habits and morals made me see that my identity as a Jew has visible influence that extends beyond my physical looks.

How do you feel your image of a “citizen” is influenced by popular media?

I feel like anything in the media always has two sides. Jewish ‘citizens’ can be presented as inferior as a joke of some sort on those meme pages to appeal to the ‘dark side’ of humor, while other parts of popular media celebrate and support Jews. I also notice that I feel as though I should follow at least some of the stereotypical checks of being Jewish to almost ensure others don’t mistake my identity for something more basic than what it is.

Do you suppress any parts of your culture/identity to avoid feeling hyper-visible?

As I became older, I tried to act less influenced by Jewish traditions and tried to fit in with my friends who weren’t Jewish. I also noticed that there were certain features that I thought almost over-exaggerated my Jewish features, like my big nose. It made me insecure sometimes. But I especially would conceal that I was Jewish were I to encounter a Christian stranger who I was not close to, out of fear they would push their beliefs or label me something I am not.

In being Jewish, have you ever experienced physical effects of micro-aggressions towards your identity?

When I was young and lived in Russia before moving to Australia, my schoolmates would aggravate me and call me various names from a ‘traitor of the motherland’ to ‘unholy pig feed’; whatever felt like the special of the day. Since moving to Australia, I don’t see this kind of aggression as much. Back then, it was impossible to enter the local synagogue without running into an angry crowd of anti-semetic Russians. I was typically just threatened to be beaten up if I were to ‘show up’ at a certain area of town every again.

What is it like to be a Jewish citizen in a place other than America? Do you notice many differences or similarities?

I feel as though in America it’s more acceptable to make fun of an ethnic group and that racism is still prominent there. Here in Australia, there is a pretty large community of Russo-Jewish and other Ashkenazi families in Melbourne that could come to the census it is a little better here. Some people sometimes will overstep and recall some historical joke about Hitler to seem ‘edgy’, but otherwise there is not much that worries me.”

Was there ever a specific instance where you felt you would rather be a different kind of “citizen”? What was the context?

I feel that I would really want to be a different kind of race so that my facial features looked more like what I wanted. I always had a love-hate relationship with my nose or the thickness of my hair, and almost wished I was just the run-of-the-mill skinny Australian girl with a small nose and thin, wavy hair that listened to the curling iron.

Are there any significant public figures or special people that inspire you to feel proud of your identity; or make you feel more resistant to others’ false interpretations of you as a “citizen”?

My niece inspires me most, with the pride she takes in being her own special kind of person. She is growing up surrounded by deep family tradition but is exposed to more than just concern about whether or not someone will mislabel her again. Otherwise, my friends and family always reminds me of how lovely it is to be my own citizen of Jewish descent.

What about your identity as a “citizen” brings you pride or a feeling of belonging?

There are many communities of Jews, but also Christian friends who I find know how to co-exist through acceptance of different religious influences. I always know I have more than just a family member who can relate to how connected I feel to my identity as a Jewish ‘citizen’.