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Reflection

In the reflection unit, I learned how to write about myself. It was a uint about self-reflection and how to show your personality and quality through the 21-Century-Skills. In time for college application which this unit was based on we wrote a personal essay in English. For film class, we then took that essay and took out the most important components and made it visual. We focused there more on visuals then trying to just put some photos over our personal essay.

English

Personal Essay

I am not a blind follower. I always ask questions. I will not just take a pill or jump out the window if someone tells me to. I always want to know why. At 11 years old, I faced a hormone therapy because the doctors said I would be too tall, so as long as I “didn’t want to join the NBA,” they said, I should do the one and a half year therapy. I did not know what was going to happen and I did not know anyone that had ever gone through such a treatment. I was scared but I did not think that much would change in my everyday life. I would just be a little taller than everyone at a young age but this was all for my benefit, right?

Right?

Drugs make you unpredictable. Everyone talks about the bad effects of illegal drugs, but who talks about the side effects of legal drugs, the ones we are told to take without knowing what they could truly do to us? I have always struggled with taking even an Aspirin, because it seems so unnatural to me. But it never seems like there is another choice. Through the hormone therapy I took not just two pills three times a day but also major amounts of painkillers and multivitamins to deal with the side effects. I was relying on that they were not making any mistakes that would have temporary effects on my body. I could not even tell because I didn’t know or understand what was in those pills and neither did my parents. I had to put all of my trust into people who claimed they knew better but did they? Could they explain to a 14 year old what they were truly doing?

I was struggling with intense mood swings which led to making me an outsider in school. I felt like I had absolutely no control over my body. I felt like everything was falling apart and then coming back together. Some days I would not even know how my body felt and my own legs would seem so wrong and far away. I would get nauseous every time I woke up and felt like the floor was moving under my feet. I was becoming the class clown due to not being able to not trip over my endless legs. I would fall my legs all the time but I always got back up. I focused myself into books and the creative world of daydreaming. It is a beautiful thing to know how to daydream because even now when I am stressed I can turn everything around me off and just go in my own world. Through that time I also was dealing with the recent divorce of my parents which paired with getting bullied at school took my happiness. I felt like the only place I could fled to was my mind.

That is when basketball came into my life.I had such negative associations which basketball because my parents forced me to start playing. I was clumsy and felt like a newborn deer playing with a ball. A total mess. I have always had a huge ego so although I felt like I made myself to an idiot every week, I tried to prove everyone wrong, especially the girls laughing at me in school. I am a highly self-critical person and getting criticized and laughed at just really messed with me. The more I played sports the more it helped me really feel my body. I felt more connected to my body after every practice. I got better and better and truly learned what it meant to be in a team. I made amazing friends

To this day I still don’t know if the hormone therapy was a good or bad choice but that is a question there just never will be an answer to. All I know is that it is part of my life that I have to accept and that I can’t change how tall I am. All I can do is see the best in it.

Digital Media

Film

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