For this part of our project, we were tasked to create an essay that would answer the question of “Who Am I”, and to do so we wrote essays on what we each believed in. It took me a long time to settle on a topic, as I am not a deep, methodical person who is always conscious of their thoughts and feelings on things. I much prefer the life of a clown. I believe in being a clown.

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A Teenage Clown

I believe that laughing is the most overlooked thing that you can do for yourself and others. Fifteen minutes before my English class I needed to work on my This I Believe essay and decided to scrap the whole thing. In a panic, I asked my good friend what I should do, to which she jokingly suggested I should write something like Jane Hamill’s essay about being inspired by Barbie, but make it about clowns. That idea made me laugh really hard and it felt like the perfect topic. The job of a jester thousands of years ago was simple; lighten the mood and entertain the common folk. Clowns were historically clever, respected, and loved by the community. At this point in my life, those are the qualities I strive for the most.

I sometimes reflect on my role in a friend group. What am I good for if all I do is laugh? These thoughts can make me doubt my abilities. I went back to the same friend from before to ask if I should just restart this essay over yet again. This essay was already late and I felt completely stuck. I felt as if what I was writing didn’t really matter. However, my friend was able to miraculously turn my writer’s block around. She confessed to me that time and time again when she felt low, I was there to make her laugh. I never really thought anything of this before. The reason why I tried to make my friends laugh when they were down was because I wanted to be there for them. Sometimes I don’t know the right thing to say to make them feel better or what advice to give, so I try to comfort them in the only way I know how. It is important for me to remember that this ability of mine is my valuable skill. There is no shame in being the comic relief.

Comparing myself to a 15th century clown was initially a joke between my friends. But over time I noticed these similarities. My family says I’m clever, quick witted, and usually the first to get someone’s joke. I tend to make friends quickly and I have an easy going attitude. And I’d like to think of myself as a lovable little scamp. I began to embrace the comparison as I realized that much of my own personality aligns with that of a clown. If all I can do is make people laugh, then I’m perfectly happy with that. This essay made me laugh, and that made me write a better essay than my previous one.