Soon- sooner than I think- the status quo of my life is going to change in a very significant way: I will go to college, and effectively leave my current state of being. For my entire life, I’ve lived in Los Altos, and I only seldom leave the larger Bay Area. I have so many people whom I care about here, and so many memories with those people. Once I leave, it is uncertain, doubtful even, in some cases, that I’ll ever see some of them again. That thought terrifies and worries me. It makes me reflect on what freedom really means. Yes, once I get out of college with whatever degree, I’ll be “free” from childhood and obligations to a university, but I won’t have access to any of those people that are so important to me. Freedom, I think, is the ability to choose. I can’t choose my fate, or where I end up, or especially where my friends end up and if I’ll ever cross paths with them again.
I like to hike up to this vista to view the whole Bay Area. It makes me reflect: essentially my whole life has been spent in this area that fits completely within my eyesight. All of my joy, my sorrow, my struggles, and my triumphs have happened here. Soon, I won’t be able to come up here anymore. It hasn’t been until very recently that I’ve realized how much I cherish this place, and all who are in it that have given me these precious memories- but it’s because of this appreciation that it will feel so much like I’ll be losing a big part of myself when I leave it.